After exploring the dating scene for the past few years I now have a better understanding of what works for me and what doesn’t work. There was a long period in my life where I felt I would never find love because I didn’t think I was attracted to gay men. Sounds crazy, I know–but true. How can a gay man not be attracted to other gay men?
This was simply a false reality. The stereotypical image of what I believed all gay men to be is what held me back from believing that I could succeed in the complicated world of dating. Gay men, just like every other group of people in the world, come in all different shades-we aren’t just one thing! That’s what I soon had to learn before I could put myself out there and actually be EXCITED about dating. After all, dating should be a FUN process!
Here are my 5 tips for dating in the gay community:
1. BE SOCIAL
In order to meet guys, you need to get your ass out the house and put yourself in social situations! How do you expect to meet people staying cooped up in the house? Not happening! Yes, there are dating apps that can help the process, but there is nothing like a face to face interaction with someone. That way, you know exactly what your getting and vise versa.
Being social can include going to nightclubs on the weekends, happy hours during the week or maybe a social gathering that you were invited to by a friend. You can even go to your favorite restaurant and sit at the bar. I would recommend doing this alone because in many cases, you appear more approachable when you’re by yourself.
It doesn’t stop there folks–you have to be someone who people actually WANT to talk to. No I don’t mean that you have to be the loudest person in the room. Just look approachable…look like you WANT to be there. I see so many guys when I’m hanging out who look like they have an attitude problem just by looking at them–NOT COOL. Facial expressions and body language count for a lot! Look at it from this perspective, would YOU want to initiate convo with someone who looks like they’ll cuss you out for no reason? Exactly!
2. KEEP AN OPEN MIND
Yeah, I know we all have a mental list of what we think the perfect guy for us looks and acts like. Do yourself a favor and throw that list in your mental trash can! Of course there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a preference, but just keep in mind that your taste may be constantly evolving. You may find something attractive in someone that you never thought would attract you before. Try not to be too hard on people, but still DON’T SETTLE for someone who just doesn’t do if for you.
3. TRAVEL, TRAVEL TRAVEL!
I am a FIRM believer in not limiting yourself to the area in which you live. There is an entire world of guys out there so why settle for the convenience of someone just because they live close by? This tip is specific for those having a difficult time dating in their area. Lets face it, not all cities are ideal locations for dating and being gay–that’s a reality. I can’t imagine trying to date and living somewhere like Nebraska lol. If you do live in a city with not a lot of opportunity, save your money to travel to more UPBEAT cities such as Atlanta, New York, Chicago or DC. I always hear guys say, “Well I don’t want to do the long-distance relationship thing.” My response to that is, if the connection is strong enough between two people then you’ll make it work. 😉
4. LOOK YOUR BEST
Whether you like it or not, physical attraction is what initially attracts us to each other before our personality even has a chance to shine. Taking the time to keep yourself well groomed is not only beneficial for being noticed, but it’ll make you feel better about yourself.
Having a cool fashion sense helps as well, but even before that I recommend taking care of your mind, body and soul. You want to wear your clothes, not let your clothes wear you. Make sure you have incorporated some type of fitness into your weekly routine whether it’s having a gym membership or playing your favorite sport. Exercising also is a stress reliever and when you feel better on the inside, it shows on the outside. Aside from staying active, being responsible when it comes to your nutrition is crucial when it comes to looking your best. Fruits, vegetables and water are your best friends!
5. BE YOURSELF!
This is the most important tip in my opinion. Be yourself! There’s nobody else on this earth like you and that makes you one of a kind. You’re special and whoever you’re dating needs to see that!
I hope these 5 tips have “Nspired” you to go out there are start dating! Just have fun with it and try not to have too many expectations. Take things one day at a time. By the way, remember that sex and dating are two different things. Just because you may be sleeping with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re dating them. So make smart decisions while dating. Alright, get out there and HAVE FUN!