I’m sure we all come across an online dating situation where you have met a really great guy, and now it’s time to take things outside of this digital fantasy that the both of you have created. Let’s face it, meeting someone online is cool, but you’ll never get a true sense of who they really are if you never have that face-to-face interaction.
My theory is that roughly 10-20% of your dating life can be done online, but the other 80-90% MUST be done in real life. Don’t you want to see a person’s mannerisms, how they say certain words, the face they make when they laugh…etc? Sometimes online relationships don’t always translate in person, so it may not be the best idea to waste too much of your time getting to know someone through text messages.
When is the right time to meet? Some may ask him out on a date after the first message, while others may wait after a few messages.
Side-note: If there is a clear connection between the both of you and you are waiting longer than a couple weeks or months to meet up, then you are WASTING YOUR TIME and WASTED TIME IS COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE in the world of dating.
Let’s start on when NOT to meet. If you haven’t had a decent conversation, haven’t seen any photos, and haven’t spoken on the phone at least once, then it is definitely too early to meet. These sound like obvious no no’s, right? Trust and believe things like this do happen (smh).
For safety reasons especially, you need to have a general idea about the person that you’re dealing with. It’s always a red flag in my eyes when someone wants to meet me in-person before I’ve even heard his voice on the phone (and vise-versa).
Also, if you don’t have a variety of photos available so that I have an idea on whether or not I’m physically attracted to you then that is a major issue. Matter of fact, if you don’t plan on showing me photos then don’t even message me. The lame excuse of “I’m really protective over my pics” or “I’m really secretive” is tired and played out. Today, in 2015, everyone has a smartphone or someway to take a quick selfie.
Alright, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about when to meet. Like I stated earlier, as long as you and him have established that there is potentially some type of attraction, then you should never wait too long. In fact, the sooner the better! The only exception to that rule is if you are talking to someone who isn’t local. That’s a unique set of circumstances which is an entire new post within itself.
Send a few messages back and forth, share pics, have a phone conversation (or two) and set something up! Don’t wait for him to do so; you take the initiative and invite him to a cool happy hour that you may know about during the week after work. That’s just one of many ideas.
As long as you stick to this basic outline, you should have an active dating life. Remember, wasting time DOES NOT equal an active dating life.