Is It Alright to Chase Him?

Remember the stories that your Grandmother told you about how your Grandfather chased her for months until she finally said yes? Do people still chase? Is it even okay to chase in the world of gay men? With so many options that some seem to have, whether it’s a typical night out at the bar or if it’s “going down on the Gram,” is there even a need to chase anymore?

I’ve seen plenty of men in my 29 years who I wouldn’t have minded chasing. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a light chase. But gay dating is so much more complex. For one, you really don’t know who’s gay and who’s not just by looking at someone—with the exception of men who are more on the feminine side. Secondly, from my experience, a good looking man almost always comes with a God complex.

…not all of course.

Lastly, there are so many different types of energies and vibes that come with men who deal with other men. I’ve had conversations with plenty of gay/bisexual men who confessed that they don’t like to be chased. Instead, they like to be the chasers. So as you can see, dating while being gay isn’t as black and white as it is in heterosexual dating.

I’ve been in plenty of situations where I was the one being chased. The only issue is that they weren’t the guys who I wanted to chase me. It always seems to work out like that, right? So back to my original question, is it necessary to do a little chasing if you are serious about pursuing that phine guy you see at the gym every afternoon?

I would say that the answer to that question is YES…and no.

Sometimes love comes knocking at your door when you least expect it, but other times you may have to put in some work if you plan on NOT being single for the rest of your life. If you’re going to chase, just make sure that you are chasing someone who at least has the potential of possibly feeling the same way about you as you feel about him. Don’t waste your time on something that is not there, because you’re probably doing yourself more harm than good.

So here’s the ideal approach—in my head. If there is someone who you are attracted to, focus on hitting first base before you try to make a home run. Baby steps! What I mean by this is, try to genuinely befriend him before taking things further. This way you’re not completely objectifying him by only going off his looks.

Personality counts too and you may find out early on that this dude looks good, but his personality sucks or the chemistry just isn’t quite there. You may realize that you just want to hit it and quit it…joking–kinda…

There’s always room for a little chase, but timing is everything. If you play your cards right, than you and that phine dude at the gym may be working out together in due time. 😉

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