As human, it’s natural that we have insecurities. Whether it’s the way we look, the way we walk, or the way we talk, we all have things that hold us back from living up to our full potential.
A few days ago I reflected about the current climate of my dating life. Being a single, black, same-gender-loving, man for many years (emphasis on many) forced me to question myself. Sure I may be a bit particular about who I’m romantically interested in, but there has to be more to it. Why can I barely make it past first base?!
Then it hit me! Perhaps my own insecurities are holding me back from fully putting myself out there. Before you can be 100% comfortable with other people, you have to be 110% comfortable with yourself. Let’s face it, people are attracted to confident people! We can sense when someone may be battling through a few insecurities.
Don’t get it twisted, the most confident person in the world still has insecurities. However, we all must learn to work through our insecurities and that’s exactly what confident people do. You accept your “flaws” and then you embrace them. This is something that doesn’t happen over night, but once you get to this point, there is nothing that anyone can tell you that will leave a nasty, unwanted scratch on your esteem.
Okay, now lets get back to the original question at hand. Do insecurities hold you back from being in a relationship? Well, there’s actually a flip side to that. Sometimes insecurities push people to being in relationships—the wrong relationships. That’s another topic for a different day.
In order for relationships to work, you need to be completely transparent with that person. As mentioned earlier, you have to be honest with yourself first before you can be completely free and open with someone else. The important thing to take from this is that you should be conscience on whether or not you are in a mental space to actually pursue a serious relationship. If the answer to that is no, then you should probably work on building yourself up before involving yourself with someone else.