You can’t always rely on your friends to keep you company when you get that urge to go out for a few drinks or free your mind in the club after a long ass week of work. You definitely shouldn’t allow your friends to get in the way of you potentially meeting new people just because your pay weeks fall opposite of each other.
Hanging out alone can be a bit intimidating at first. I must admit, when I first doing it I was a little uncomfortable. That awkward feeling of sitting at the bar alone while you watch everyone around you laughing and having a good time with their friends…
Don’t get discouraged because after a few tries you’ll get use to it and by the end of the night, you may have made a new friend or two. Hell, you may have even landed a date with the cute guy who was sitting next to you.
I personally haven’t been the most social person and even today, I have to be in the mood. A few years ago, after I graduated college, I started hanging out alone because #1, I didn’t like working around my friends schedule, and #2, I wanted to socially challenge myself. Here are 8 easy ways that I have learned over the years about how to be social while going out by yourself!
1. TALK TO THE BARTENDER
This is probably one of the more obvious approaches. As long as the topic of conversation is pretty interesting, sparking conversation with the bartender may also engage others at the bar to join in. Also, when the bartender has to excuse himself and pour another drink, you can continue the convo with the other guest(s) at the bar.
Keep in mind that this may not work in all situations. For instance, if the bartender just isn’t all that friendly or if he/she is super busy. I’ll usually talk to the bartender before the rush. Remember that timing is key. As a general guide, daytime or evening hours may be an ideal time when the bartender doesn’t mind keeping you entertained.
2. MAKE COMMENTS OUT LOUD
An easy way to do this is to watch the television hanging above the bar and to make a comment about something cool or shocking that just happened. If you’re into sports, that’s always an easy thing to do.
Once you make a comment out loud, you’re already inviting others around you to respond. I like to think of this as a more indirect way of talking to others.
3. ASK THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU WHAT THEY ORDERED
We all look at other people’s food and drinks to see what looks good—or not. Next time you see a tasty looking drink, go ahead and ask him, “hey what is that?”
The conversation may end after he tells you what it is, or it may not.
The point is that you’ll never know unless you try.
4. MAKE EYE CONTACT & SMILE 🙂
That initial interaction doesn’t always begin by opening your mouth. You MUST be self aware of what type of vibe you are giving. Smiling makes you look more approachable while making light eye contact is a conversation starter within itself! So be self-aware people!
Who said eavesdropping was rude? Well it can be, BUT it can always work to your advantage. You have an opinion, right? If you overhear two friends in the bar having a friendly debate on who’s best, Beyoncé or Rihanna (you know how the gays are, lol), feel free to chime in. Always excuse yourself out of common courtesy.
Who doesn’t like to be complimented? We all like using fashion to express ourselves and we definitely make sure our style is on point before a night of fun. Put a smile on someone’s face by telling them that you like their sneakers or their shirt.
7. THE DATING APP…
Notice that I saved this one for last because I only want you to use this as a LAST RESORT. If used correctly, dating/social apps such as Jack’d and Grindr can be your best friend.
Matter of fact, I was in a club in Chicago last weekend and met someone who messaged me on the app. We were in the same club and we literally met within like 2-3 minutes after he sent me the initial message. This was cool because not a lot of time was wasted through text. There is nothing like that face-to-face interaction!
I hope these tips help you if you decide to venture out alone in future. We only live once (that we know of, lol), so don’t let anyone stop you from living just because you can’t find someone to hang out with. That’s a “non-muthaf*ckin’ factor” as Evelyn fro Basketball Wives would say (LOL). As a reminder, it can be risky going out alone, especially at night, so always remember to BE SAFE, BE SMART, and never completely let your guard down.